Recovery from any type of addiction is one of the best gifts you can
give yourself, but it can be extremely challenging at times. This is perhaps
most true when something unexpected and unpleasant enters your life, such as
the death of a loved one or a breakdown of a relationship.
No matter what the situation may be, you are likely to come face to face with grief at least once during your recovery process. It is crucial that you understand how to handle these situations as they occur to minimize the chances of relapse. Here are a few tips for getting through the grief without reaching for the bottle:
No matter what the situation may be, you are likely to come face to face with grief at least once during your recovery process. It is crucial that you understand how to handle these situations as they occur to minimize the chances of relapse. Here are a few tips for getting through the grief without reaching for the bottle:
·
Know Your Support Network — From close personal friends and family members to
the counselors in your alcohol programs, know how to get in touch with everyone
who supports you. Keep names and numbers in your wallet, planner or in a
special contact section of your phone so you are never caught off guard without
immediate help available.
Sometimes, just talking to someone who loves you
and understands what you’re going through is enough to surf the craving until
it passes. Tell them what has happened and how it’s making you feel like
retreating to your old habits. Be honest; there is no shame in honesty. The
shame comes when you hide your feelings, don’t reach out for help and find
yourself in a place you don’t want to be.
·
Get Active Doing Something — Grief has a way of making us want to retreat
inside ourselves and stew in our suffering. You don’t want to see anyone, talk
to anyone or feel anything. This is the worst place you can be during alcohol
recovery, but it’s exactly where you’re likely to end up if you don’t force
yourself to interact with others … or at least take up a hobby.
If you are grieving the loss of a loved one, try
to think of actions you could take that would honor that person’s memory.
Volunteer at a cause that person supported, or plant a tree in their memory.
Try to constantly remind yourself that the person you lost wouldn’t want you to
slip back into destruction because of them. They would likely be proud that
their passing motivated you to do something kind and constructive.
· Understand That Grief Is a Process — Just as your recovery doesn’t happen overnight, neither does total healing from a loss. Yes, it hurts, and yes, it’s difficult. Depending on the degree of the loss, it can take months or years to feel completely normal again. The urge to escape those feelings are especially difficult when you are in recovery and it seems like you’re never going to not hurt again.
Understand that giving in to the desire for
numbness will only make things worse in the long run. Grief is a process that
everyone must work through in their own way, as long as the methods are
healthy. Self-destructive behaviors will not make the pain go away. Accept that
it hurts and that it will continue to hurt for an indefinite period of time,
then trust that one day the wounds will heal.
Above all, don’t try to
martyr yourself and suffer alone. It isn’t healthy for anyone to bottle up
emotions of grief in any circumstance. Reach out, cry, allow yourself to be
angry,and don’t try to escape from it. Healing will come when the time is right
for you.
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